Broken Dreams - Broken Bonds
by Nekomiyu
Summary: I should be like always. I should act like always. Even, if this means that I can't be with you. That I won't be with you. [KagaMuro]


I've had the idea for this one, when I've watched s2 of Kuroko no Basket ._.'' Started shipping those two somehow, because this is just too cute...

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_When was the first time that I noticed my feelings for you? When was the first time I understood, what kind of feelings I have for you? And finally: When had I realized that they are feelings that I shouldn't feel? Not as your friend. Not as your brother. Not as a guy._

So I'm back in Japan now, after my stay in America, and I fully understand that… Nothing had changed after all.

Himuro Tatsuya. 15 years old. The ace of the team Yosen High, second ace after the ex-member of the Generation of Miracles – Atsushi Murasakibara. Well, a good basketball player and also having good grades. There's also some kind of popularity with girls, even if his face isn't showing any emotions at all.

You could describe me like that, couldn't you?

_"__Let's be brothers!" The rings we exchanged, the feelings we've had were the same too. How funny it was playing together…wasn't it?_

I grab the necklace with the ring on it, grab it hardly, so that I feel a slight pain in my fist. Since when did this ring become such a burden for me?

Anyway, after my comeback I've had a lot to do, so I couldn't search for my "brother" 'till the exams were over. But before they were I've met him on that streets basketball tournament. But we couldn't play with each other. So I've waited for the Winter Cup.

_"__I don't want you to hold back!", I shout at him, "I just don't want to be your brother anymore! If you win or if you lose!"_

That was so mean, wasn't it? No matter, if he'd win or lose, I wouldn't want to be his brother. I know that I've hurt him. Hurt him so many times before. And that I wouldn't stop hurting him. Until he would back down, let me be alone. Now really alone.

_You're watching me with this painful expression, Taiga. I know this. Don't you think that I wouldn't look at you every moment, every second of my life!_

I slightly grin with this pained expression as I've lost. I know it's over now. We're not brothers. That's…

Drip. Drip.

I stand there, letting my tears fall down on the ground, still grabbing this ring like before. I want… but what do I want?

_I want…_

I know that it's stupid. Those things I've said to you recently. I'm so sorry for hurting you so many times like this. It is not that I don't care about you at all. It's just that you shouldn't know. You will never know!

I grab the necklace and pull it quickly, pull until it broke and then I let the ring fall down on the ground. I'm hating myself for being such an idiot, for crying. For being this disgusting.

_I'm sorry._

_Would you ever be able to understand, would you, Taiga? _

I slightly smile, tears flowing down my cheek. "Would you understand?", I ask myself aloud, still crying.

My whole body isn't moving, but I want to go away. I want it to end. This whole relationship.

You want me as a brother, nothing more. I know that. You showed it me so many times. So many times… I can't count them…

_"__We're brothers forever right", Taiga grinned._

You're were always being so happy and cheerful. I was the one, who knew this, the only one, who was watching you for so long that I could tell your emotions just by seeing your face. But as I've met you, you were like me there. But how can I expect you to feel like me?

_I don't want you as a brother._

You're always thinking that this meant that I want to break away from you. But you've always misunderstood things. I don't want us to lose contact. Just I don't want to be seen as your brother. I don't want this. Don't want this! I clench my fists.

I've lost. We've bet. So it'll end. Everything will end.

_I want you as…_

My, my, since when did I get this greedy? Everybody thinks I'm jealous of your talent and that I want to fight you, the real you.

But it's not quite right. All the painful things I've told you, they were all told to distance you from myself. Because... because after I've saw you here, I could… I knew, that I couldn't control myself anymore.

_Really I'm sorry, Taiga._

I finally can step forward. Maybe I should say it until Atsushi will see me crying… I try to wipe away my tears, but they keep flowing down my cheeks. I can't… I want to stay here.

_"__I want you as my lover…", I say._

"Who?", I hear a familiar voice beside me and turn quickly around, just to see familiar red eyes, staring at me with a mix of anger and seriousness. "Ah, Taiga…", I can wear my mask, I can do this, "I was talking with myself, so don't mind." "Why are you doing this sh*t?", Taiga spoke now in English, so that he was sure that many people wouldn't really understand us (most of the schools hadn't English lessons, which could make people understand quickly spoken English).

"What do you mean?", I slowly back away. I have to run. And I will.

Before he could answer, I turn around and start running as quick as I can. I can hear Taiga shouting and cursing, but I know that he won't follow. I can feel my tears flowing down my cheeks, I can feel that my legs hurt from running, that I'll fall, if I keep running. But I can't stop. My wall, my wall is the most precious thing I have.

_You won't break it!_

I try to wipe my tears again with my sleeve, but they're just keep coming. Even as Murasakibara ask me surprised: "What the matter is with you, Muro-chin?", I can't stop them. But I can't answer this question, I just smile slightly and say that everything is okay. Everything should be okay. I should be like always. I should act like always. Even, if this means that I can't be with you. That I won't be with you.

_I love you, Taiga._

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_Wanted to make a happy story..._but this how it ends -_-'' Nya, doesn't matter anyway xD **Thanks for reading** .o.


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